


Songs Jared Kleinman Legitimately Thinks Are Romantic

by flutegirl0422



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-03-22 20:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13772154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flutegirl0422/pseuds/flutegirl0422
Summary: Jared, by nature, is a talker. But when he doesn't have the right words to say, he likes to use music to tell his stories. This is the story of his relationship with one Alana Beck, told through the songs he holds dearest, for the person he loves the most.





	1. Accidentally In Love

“YES! Shrek is love! Shrek is life!”   
  
“Jared, calm down!” Perched up on the couch, Zoe threw a pillow down at him as she curled into Evan.   
  
“Ow,” he muttered, picking up his glasses from the floor and wrinkling his nose, trying to ease the discomfort from being hit in the face.    
  
What started as a Connor Project meeting at The Murphys eventually turned into a movie night. It wasn’t often that Jared and Alana stayed after a meeting, but Mrs. Murphy insisted they all stay for a while longer. It was clear she needed a distraction, so they indulged her by asking for a boatload of snacks to go with their flick. Well, Jared asked for snacks while Alana helped her prepare them.    
  
“Did we really have to go with the first movie Netflix suggested? Shrek 2 is not at all what I had in mind.” Zoe whined.    
  
Evan rubbed her arm, trying to ease the tension. Jared scowled, knowing Evan’s silence meant he was taking Zoe’s side. He tried to keep his frustration with his friend’s developing relationship to a minimum for the sake of upholding his and Evan’s secret, but he had a terrible poker face. Zoe caught on quickly to Jared’s animosity and it had made the last few weeks pretty intense.    
  
Thankfully, Alana came in with a big bowl of popcorn and an assortment of sodas to break some of that tension. “Zoe, you know we’d still be picking a movie if we didn’t set that rule. Besides, I have to agree with Jared in this one.”   
  
Everyone’s eyes widened and Jared’s jaw went slack. “Wait,” he said, “you like Shrek?”   
  
“Is that so hard to believe? It’s a great blend of parody and original material, and Fiona is pretty badass. She and Shrek are, as they say, hashtag goals.” The slang didn’t quite roll off her tongue, but Jared was duly impressed with her nuanced interpretation of the Shrek franchise. 

As the opening scene played, Jared couldn’t help but notice Alana was mouthing along to the song that was playing. He wasn’t sure why, but ever since then he’d get a little flustered whenever he heard a Counting Crows song playing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Thank you for reading :) A quick heads up, there is no order to any of these. They are just little vignettes that look into Jared and Alana's relationship, so it might jump around a bit in time. However, if you would like to see what's coming up next, there is a playlist on Spotify that goes with this fic! Click here to listen. 
> 
> Thanks again for stopping by!


	2. I Really Like You

Alana dreaded field trips. She always ended up sitting at the front of the bus with a chaperone getting ahead on her assignments while everyone else seemed to have the time of their lives. She’d been invited to sit with other people before, but she never felt as comfortable as she did alone. When Jared proposed they sit with each other on their English class trip to the museum’s Shakespeare exhibit, she was less than enthusiastic.

“Pleeeeease?” he begged. “Evan's just gonna be texting Zoe the whole time, and I’d kinda like some decent company for once.”

She felt herself blush hearing that someone like Jared actually thought she was good company, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that it would go terribly wrong. More than that, she didn’t want to ruin a good working relationship with any complications. “Thank you but—“

“Aw, come on!” He pouted, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Look, I didn’t wanna pull this card, but I made a new mobile version of the Connor Project website,” he said. “I could really use your notes before it goes live. You’d have the first eyes on it if you sat with me today.”

Her eyes widened before she could try to hide her excitement. “Fine,” she sighed as they climbed aboard. “I have wanted us to make some improvements to it.” She followed him to a seat near the middle of the bus, and he ducked out of the way for her to take the window seat. 

She got lost in a daze, worried about how weird the ride was going to be. Would he even try to talk to her? What if he started talking about something she didn’t know about? Worse, what if he just ended up avoiding her after he figured out she wasn’t nearly as fun as he is? She crossed her arms, bracing herself for disaster. 

“Hey,” Jared gently nudged her out of her mental spiral. “You mind if I listen to some tunes before we get going? I get antsy when I’m not driving, you know?”

“Uh, sure.” She noticed his jaw clench as he put one ear bud in, tucking the other in his shirt pocket. The old seat rattled as his leg rapidly bobbed up and down. The Jared she knew was usually so aloof; she’d never seen this side of him before. After a moment she looked down at his phone screen and saw Tom Hanks adjusting his hair in a mirror. “Wait, are you just watching a movie?” She tried not to show her disappointment. Quieter, she added, “You didn’t have to lie if you don’t really want to talk to me. I know I’m not the best conversationalist.” 

“What?” He took his earbud out. “Oh, God no! Totally not avoiding you! This is just a music video.”

She squinted. 

“Wait, have you never seen this video before? Carly Rae Jepsen, ‘I Really Like You’?”

Alana tightened her lips and shook her head. 

Jared immediately gave her his other ear bud. “Alana, you just became my new project. Please experience this amazing video with me.”

Apprehensively, she put the ear bud in. Hard as she tried, Alana couldn’t help but tap her foot to the infectious drum and bass, and by the time the song was over she was grinning ear to ear. She looked up at Jared and they locked eyes for a moment. 

“Um, anyway,” he shook his head, his jaw clenching again. She noticed his ears turned a bit pink as he put away his headphones. “Let’s take a look at that website shall we?”

As he pulled up the site, the bus started to move. Alana smiled to herself, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this trip wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	3. All The Small Things

“Ms. Beck, your rebuttal?”

It was the last speech and debate meet of the year. Alana’s last chance to prove herself. The topic was whether or not social media was helpful or harmful to society. She was arguing against it, a stance complicated by the first half of her senior year. An organization she helped found had made a star of her classmate just months ago. The meteoric rise and fall of The Connor Project weighed on her as she straightened her notecards. While it wasn’t in the limelight anymore, things she never dreamt possible were happening because of thousands of likes and shares turning into donations and, most importantly, awareness. The circumstances were less than ideal after parting ways with her co-founder, but she had finally found her voice. 

Then she remembered the Murphys and the pain she put them through after publishing Connor’s letter. It was helpful in forming her argument, sure, but she couldn’t help but feel guilty for putting them in that situation in the first place. No matter how many times Zoe said they were on good terms, Alana remembered what her Twitter mentions looked that week. She wouldn’t wish the things those people said about the Murphys on anyone. 

Taking a deep breath, she looked out into the crowd. It was difficult to see out into the house; the stage lights were blinding. In the front row, however, she could just make out the shadow of a bespectacled boy with a goofy grin. Focusing on him, she began to make her arguments. 

“That was so great!” Jared was waiting for Alana outside the auditorium and thrust a bouquet into her hands. “You almost convinced me to delete my Twitter account. Almost.” 

She smiled wide. “I can’t believe you actually came.”

“And miss the smartest girl I know wipe the floor with those chumps from East High? I wouldn’t dare.” 

“It really means a lot that you came, Jared. That was...really hard.” She felt tears collect in her eyes. 

“Hey, come here.” He pulled her into a hug. As he rubbed her back, Alana softened and felt him take up some of the emotional burden. “It’s hard for me too, sometimes,” he whispered. “But try to remember I got you. I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one! It ends on a sadder note but the next one is much happier, I promise! 
> 
> Also different about this one, and some of the others coming up, they're not as directly related to the song as they are to things that the songs express or how they make people feel. This one is very specifically inspired by lyrics in the song and what they're describing (bonus points if you can figure it out in the comments xD) 
> 
> If you made it this far, you're a rockstar :)


	4. Hooked On A Feeling

“All I’m saying is it’s ridiculous that Zoe Saldana has had to wear full body paint in two of her most iconic roles. Is it so improbable that black woman exist in space?”

Jared paced, throwing up his hands in resignation. Even though Halloween was several weeks away, Jared thought it would be a good idea for them to start planning so they could have a really cool couple costume. He had suggested they go as Peter Quill and Gamora, not anticipating that Alana would go off on one of her infamous tirades. 

“First of all,” Jared argued, “she plays THE black woman in space. Uhura is a damn treasure.”

Alana rolled her eyes, conceding a point to Jared. 

“She’s playing an alien,” he continued. “She  _ knows _ she’s playing an alien. If it bothered her, she would turn down those roles in the first place.” 

“She has a family to feed, Jared! I don’t know her life!”

“Then why are you making such a big deal out of this?!” He wrinkled his face into an exaggerated frown. 

“You know what?” she said. “Fine, I’ll do it. But if I have to wear full body paint, then so do you.” She smirked. He immediately worried. 

“Alana,” he said warily, “what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that if I’m Gamora, you have to be Drax.” 

His arms immediately wrapped around his middle. “What?!”

“You heard me.” She raised her eyebrows. 

He could tell she was goading him just to prove a point, and he vowed to go all day with her on this if he had to. There was no way he’d let her win with these dirty tactics. “Alana, you know the world wouldn’t be able to handle all this raw, masculine energy.” He hoped it sounded as confident to her as it did in his head. 

She laughed, doubling over with joy. “I love you, Jared, but we both know why you don’t want to do this.” 

Suddenly the room fell silent. Jared’s eyes felt like they were going to burst from his head. “You, uh,” he stuttered, “y-you...love me?”

Her face fell. His stomach sank. 

“Sorry,” said Jared, turning to leave the room. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yes.” 

He whirled around, relief washing over him. “You do?”

“In all honesty, I would’ve preferred to tell you a little more eloquently than that, but yes. I love you.” She smiled wide. 

“Oh, thank God!” Pulling her into a tight embrace, he went in for a kiss, stopping just short of their lips meeting. “I mean, I love you too, obviously, or I wouldn’t be—“

Alana put a finger on his lips. “Jared,” she said, “I love you.  _ Adore _ you. But can you shut up for one second and just kiss me?” 

He happily obliged, sure that nothing else in his entire life could compare to the joy of this moment. 


	5. As Long As You Love Me

Jared sat at the edge of his bed, nervously tapping his toes. He stared at his phone, willing it to stay silent. It had been three days since he last spoke to anyone he knew. It had also been three days since Evan had told the Murphys everything. 

He was currently in his room, avoiding Evan, who was with his mom and the rest of Jared’s family to celebrate the first night of Hanukkah. This was usually one of Jared’s favorite holidays, and he loved celebrating with his family, but no amount of chocolate gelt or delicious fried treats could persuade him to stay in the same room with Evan. The last time they spoke, the words that came out of Evan’s mouth were unforgivable. But if the last few days had proven anything, it was how right he really was. 

Jared knew the jig was up Zoe Murphy accosted him in the hall the next day. He could still hear her voice, with quiet indignation, asking if he knew it was all a lie. The look in her eye told him she already knew the answer. He couldn’t bring himself to confirm her suspicions so he just stood there until she left. The rest of the week he’d avoided everyone, especially Alana, taking alternate routes to class and eating lunch in his car. Jared was sure that by now Zoe had already told her the truth, and he wasn’t sure he could face that. 

So, here he was, alone again as Evan had predicted. Without Evan, he didn’t have anyone else. 

A knock on his bedroom door interrupted his contemplation. 

“What is it?

“You have a guest.” It was his mom. “Come downstairs.” 

“Mom, I already told you, Evan’s not my guest and I’m not talking to him.”

She opened the door and gave him a stern look. “I’m not talking about Evan. That girl you’ve been bringing over is at the door. Now, I won’t allow you to stay in here sulking, it’s rude to leave a lady waiting for you.” 

Pushing past his mother, Jared bolted downstairs and Alana standing just inside the doorway. He froze on the bottom step. 

“Haven’t heard from you in a while,” she said. “I hope I’m not interrupting.” 

“No, not at all,” said Jared. He looked out to the living room and caught Evan staring back, wringing his hands. “Let’s go outside.” 

As Jared closed the door, Alana sat down on the porch swing. “So…” she said. He felt her eyes watching as he sat down next to her. 

He crossed his arms, only in part to stay warm in the winter air. “I get that you probably never want to speak to me again,” he said, “so whatever you have to say just do it quick.”

“Jared, that’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here?” he asked. “I’m sure Zoe’s told you everything. I bet you probably think I’m a piece of shit, and instead of just letting it all fizzle out you probably wanted to tell me in person how much you hate me, right?” Tears blurred his vision when he finally looked up at her. 

She firmly gripped his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “Jared. This is one of those times where I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen. Got it?”

He swallowed hard and gave a short nod.

“Zoe told me a lot of things the other day. Some of it I had already figured out. Some of it I hadn’t. But it still didn’t add up. I mean, Evan makes sense. He’s terrified of confrontation and cares so much what other people think about him, it’s not hard to see how he got caught up in all of this. But the Jared Kleinman I know wouldn’t go this far just to hurt people. The Jared I know cares too much for that. The Jared I know loves deeply, even if he doesn’t always show it, and he’d do anything for the people he cares about.”

Jared’s heart hurt hearing those words. Did she really think he was that good? He sobbed, knowing he didn’t deserve it.

“Why, Jared? Why did you do it?”

He took off his glasses and buried his face in his hands, wiping the tears from his eyes. His cold fingertips stung against his warm cheeks, bright red both from the crying and the freezing temperature. It was silent for a while as Jared collected himself. “He needed me,” he finally said, looking down at his lap. “I’ve been asking myself over and over again why I even got involved and deep down, I just needed to be needed. And it felt good.” He paused. “It felt like old times.” He sniffled, feeling the tears well up again. Rolling his eyes, he said, “Just so you know, this whole feelings thing? This is not me. At all. God, I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this, I mean—”

“Because we’re friends.”

Jared looked at her in shock. He hadn’t known Alana very long, but he knew she didn’t use that word lightly. 

“Look, we can’t change what happened. And given the chance, I don’t know that I would.” She took his hands in hers. “I think all of us, myself included, were acting out of loneliness. Am I upset at what you did? Absolutely. Should I hate you? Maybe, but I don’t because for once in my life I don’t feel alone anymore and that’s because of you. The least I could do is return the favor.”

He hugged her, crying on her shoulder for what felt like hours, and for the first time in his life, he believed in miracles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm pretty sure this is the longest one (although I haven't written the last few so who knows?), so thanks for making it this far. A few notes:
> 
> 1) I'm not Jewish but I did try to do as much research as I could on some Hanukkah traditions so I could put at least a hint of it in there. If I got anything wrong, please tell me and I'll fix it. I want to be as accurate and as respectful as possible!  
> 2) I know this was another emotional one, but I feel like any discussion of Jared/Alana that is (or tries to be) canon compliant has to tackle this conversation. The Connor Project is so much a part of both of them that I can't imagine Evan's lie not affecting their relationship in any way. I hope you enjoyed my take on it <3
> 
> Thanks again for stopping by!


	6. Head Over Heels

Another day, Another Connor Project meeting. This time Alana was at Jared’s place, since Evan and Zoe were adamant that they were not to be disturbed that afternoon. 

The two of them had made a lot of headway without Evan and Zoe, but eventually ran out of things to do that didn’t involve their intimate knowledge of Connor and the Murphys.

“Well. If we can’t get anything else done I guess I’ll just head home,” said Alana matter of factly. She picked up her belongings with purpose, not wanting to overstay her welcome. 

Jared watched her intently, saddened because she no longer had a reason to stay. He didn't know how to express it but he had come to crave her company. Without Evan around, he had a lot of free time, which meant a lot of time alone with his thoughts. Those thoughts couldn’t help but drift to Alana every now and again, and the harder he fought them the louder they became. As he watched her, he felt his face melt into a smile, and for once he didn’t even try to hide it.

She looked up from her packing and noticed him standing over her, staring absent-mindedly. “Did you...need something, Jared?” she asked.

He shook his head vigorously. “No, I mean, I just...” He looked down at the floor. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself. “Look, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. My mom’s probably starting dinner, and you could stay. If you want.” He paused. “Would you maybe...want to?” 

“Sure.” She smiled back at him, putting her bag down. “I was kind of hoping you’d ask, actually. My parents have their book club tonight and the house has been a bit too quiet with them gone ever since my grandma passed away. Too much going on in my mind, you know?” 

He blinked rapidly, sure that he was never going to get used to her directness, or how weirdly in sync they often were. After a moment, he nodded. 

After a pleasant dinner with the rest of Jared’s family, they sat on the couch and waited for Alana’s parents to come pick her up. He let her pick the show, and to his surprise they ended up watching Adventure Time. She talked at length about how clever it was, and he was lost in admiration. 

He lay in bed that night replaying their time together in his head. He couldn’t help but think that he was wasting time on this girl, but drifted off to sleep contented with the privilege of even knowing her.


	7. Worldwide

“Pick a number.”

Alana raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you have a test tomorrow?” She peeked at Jared from behind a book. Across the table, she could see a dark blue glow in the reflection of his glasses and steam rising from a freshly made latte, sure signs that he had given up on studying.

“I promise I’ll finish out the chapter, but I just read the same sentence, like, six times. I need a break. Besides, you know the rules. Anytime, anywhere, you gotta pick a number.”

Early on in their relationship, Jared and Alana found it hard to really talk to one another. Not that either of them had trouble talking at length, but their conversations often lacked depth. They were experts at saying nothing with as many words as possible. To combat this, they devised a game. Pick any list of questions you want from anywhere on the Internet and ask back and forth until the list ran out.

Alana put down her book and pulled up her phone. “Ok, I will pick a number, but I’m putting on a 30 minute timer. When it rings, we study. Deal?”

“Fine,” he sighed. He looked at her expectantly. “So what’ll it be?”

“Out of how many?”

“A hundred and three.”

“We’re not gonna get through all of those, you know that right?”

“Just pick a number, Beck.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thirteen.”

Jared tutted as he scrolled through the list. “Thirteen? Okay, here we go.” He rubbed his hands together with excitement. “If you could have dinner with any public figure who would it be?”

“Right now, it’s Louis XIV” she answered without hesitation.

“Who?” Jared cocked his head in confusion.

“One of the last kings of France before they started beheading them all.” She crossed her arms. “I mostly want to see if he lives up to all the hype. He’s basically the Beyoncé of the French Monarchy.”

Jared’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Really? _Really?_ You know what, I’m not even gonna ask you to elaborate on that. I know I’ll just regret it.”

Alana smirked. “You sure? You started this game.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, trying not to remember that little detail. “Okay,” he said, “now you pick a number for me.”

“How about I just pick the question?”

Jared shook his head. “Nope, that’s not how it works.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t make up some of the questions last time to get out of answering them.”

Jared opened his mouth to offer a rebuttal, but thought twice after seeing the mischievous twinkle in her eye. There was no arguing when she got this way. Besides, she was right.

“Hand the phone over, babe.”

Reluctantly, he slid the phone across the table.

She scrolled for quite a while until she found exactly what she was looking for. “Alright, Jared. Remember, you have to answer 100% honestly.”

“Damn it, Alana,” he whined. “What did you pick?”

“Ninety-four. What was the last song that made you cry?”

His eyes cast down like he was searching for a way out through the floor. He muttered curses under his breath.

“You have to answer,” she teased.

“I know, but you’re gonna think I’m a fuckin’ dweeb.”

“You are a dweeb, Jared.”

He feigned offense, but his hand began to shake, betraying his nervousness.

She grabbed his hand across the table to keep it steady. “I promise I won’t laugh or anything. Just tell me.”

After a moment, he took a deep breath. “So,” he started, “remember when you did that study abroad over the summer?”

She nodded.

“Well, that first week you were gone, my sister came to visit with her kids. My niece, Emma, was going through her room and found some Big Time Rush CDs, which I’m surprised we still had, honestly. That was probably the last time we even bought a CD in our house.”

“Jared, you’re stalling.” Alana’s eyes narrowed.

“Not stalling! I’m setting the tone. Now, no more interruptions or I won’t tell you anything at all.”

Emphatically, she locked her lips and threw away the invisible key.

“Like I was saying, Emma found the Big Time Rush CDs. She insisted we listen to them while we did some errands, so, naturally, we obliged. Honestly, it was a fun time. I hadn’t heard a lot of that stuff since elementary school. We spent the day driving around town jamming out. I think my sister was even doing some of the dances, if I recall correctly.” Jared pantomimed generic boy band choreography as he narrated, much to Alana’s amusement.  “Anyway, on our way home, ‘Worldwide’ came on. Do you know it?”

Alana shook her head. “Can’t say I do.”

Jared dramatically sang the chorus, eliciting giggles from Alana and annoyed looks from the people sitting around them. “As you can see,” he said after finishing his performance, “I can’t do it justice. I always thought it was a ridiculously cheesy song, but next thing I knew I was...well, you know. I can guarantee I never looked more attractive,” he quipped. Alana noticed his voice catch. “I managed to collect myself enough not to bother my sister or Emma, but when I got back to my room I...” he looked away for a moment. He swallowed hard then looked back at Alana.

She rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me about that before?”

His lip quivered and he screwed up his face. “Because it’s fucking lame!” They locked eyes and she put a hand to her heart. “I mean, who cries over an old TV boy band because he misses his girlfriend? Can we just... _not_ right now?” He slid his hand away from hers and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes.

They sat in silence. After a while, Alana leaned in. “Can I tell you a secret?” she whispered.

“What is it?” Jared glanced up at her.

“You are actually really cute when you cry.” She reached over to wipe his cheek and he fought back a grin.

“Seriously though,” she said, caressing his face. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. You know as well as I do that you’re not the kind of girl who is just gonna drop her dreams and plans for some guy. You’re gonna change the world someday. I didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Missing me isn’t holding me back, Jared. You wanna know something? I was actually terrified the entire time that I’d come back and you’d have moved on. On our Skype calls you seemed so non-chalant, I was kind of worried you didn’t like me anymore.”

Jared looked up, dread written all over his face. “Oh, God. Really? I would _never_ —“

“I know that. Now.” She kissed his cheek. “But talk to me next time. Okay?”

As they leaned in for a kiss, the two of them jumped, startled by Alana’s phone going off. “Well,” said Jared, reaching over to quiet the timer, “there goes our study break.”

Alana rubbed his arm as she got up from her chair. “Look, I made you cry and we let your coffee get cold, so I’m gonna go get you a fresh cup and a cake pop while you hit the books. Deal?”

“Deal,” he said with a smile. As she walked away, he couldn’t help but think about how terribly he would miss her for the next five minutes. Eventually she returned, treats in hand, and all was well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone so long! I wanted to try to finish my other story (which you should definitely check out if you haven't!), but I have to re-write the entire last chapter anyway, so I returned to this for now :)
> 
> Also, in the time I've been gone I FINALLY got to see the show in New York and I just....I didn't think I could love these characters any more and I was proven so, so wrong. I am super pumped to finish this one out as well. If you have any ideas you'd like me to write next, please let me know!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!


	8. Never Gonna Give You Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know this is the longest one yet! Thanks so much for sticking by me and I hope you enjoy <3
> 
> and yes, this chapter *is* named after *that* song xD

Alana sat at her vanity putting on her makeup. If someone had told her a year ago that she’d be preparing to go to prom and that she was going with someone (specifically a  _ boy  _ someone), she never would have believed it. But here she was, getting ready for what would supposedly be the best night of her life.

“So,” said Jared, driving her home from school one afternoon. “Did you see they put up posters for prom today?”

“I did. To be honest, though, I’m generally disillusioned with most school dances, seeing that they uphold patriarchal traditions and impose strict gender norms on a society that no longer has much use for them.”

“Let me guess: you’re also opposed to Sadie Hawkins dances because even though they flip the script on the patriarchal narrative, the fact that we have to make a special event where that’s okay is part of the problem.”

She stared at him.

“Well?” He asked after a few moments of silence. “Am I wrong?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jared could see her grinning. “You’re not.”

“I listen to you sometimes!” he said with a smile. “Still, though, it’s prom. You must have enjoyed it last year.”

“I didn’t go last year. Not to the dance part, anyway. I just went to help set up.”

Jared slowed down as they approached a red light. “Really?”

“I mean, I didn’t have anyone to go with.”

“Neither did I, I still went last year.”

“With friends, right?”

Jared swallowed hard. “Honestly? No. I went alone.”   


“Not even with Evan?” 

“Our parents tried to convince him to go but he was adamant about staying home. Something about sweaty hands.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It was worth it for the free food, though.” 

She nodded. 

He tightened his lips. “I have an idea.”

“What?”

“Why don’t we go to prom together?”

“You actually want to go to prom with  _ me _ ?” She felt a tightness in her chest, and she couldn’t help smiling a bit.

“I-I mean,” he stammered, “I need a witness if Sabrina Patel stuffs bacon wrapped dates into her purse again. No one believes me, but I swear it happened!” 

Alana's reminiscing was interrupted by a quick knock on her door. “Honey, you there?” Her mom came in and sat on the bed behind her. 

“Hey, mom.” She turned around to see Mrs. Beck holding a long, slender box covered in blue velvet. “What’s that?”

“Well, since it’s your first dance I wanted you to wear something special.” She opened the box to reveal a delicate pearl necklace.

“Oh my gosh, Mom! It’s beautiful!”

Mrs. Beck motioned for her to turn around and unclasped the necklace. Putting it on, she said,  “I was waiting to give you this for graduation, but it’s not every day your daughter has her first date.”

“Hey!” Alana whirled around, trying to hide her embarrassment with anger. “I already told you this isn’t a date!”

“Honey, that boy has been sending you little love notes for weeks. And isn't that the song he keeps playing for you? A  _ love _ song?” She pointed to the phone on the vanity which was playing Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”. Alana wasn’t sure if she actually liked the song or if she’d just given up hating it since Jared had sent her a link to it at least once a week since the Connor Project started. Today’s had been disguised as a makeup tutorial, and once it started she didn’t have the heart to stop it. 

Pausing the video, Alana turned back to her mother. “It’s a  _ meme _ , mom. It’s just a joke, he doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just...being Jared.”

“You know, your father used to love to tease me, too, before we got together.”

Alana smiled politely, secretly seething. “Thank you for the necklace, mom, but please take your antiquated romantic advice out of here and let me finish getting ready.”

“Alright, dear.” Mrs. Beck winked, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “I’ll let you be.” 

It wasn’t often Alana got frustrated with her parents, but the pressure to be in a relationship on top of their high academic standards often proved to be a breaking point for her. The questions and jokes about when she was going to get a boyfriend or that any boy she spoke to was her secret crush felt like pin pricks, small enough to be relatively harmless if it weren’t for the fact that it seemingly never ceased. This time felt different though. This time there was a pit in her stomach, like when she was about to take a test or give a presentation The kind of nervousness that made her come alive. It was almost as though she _ wanted _ this to be a date. But she knew it wasn’t. He was just being a good friend, and she was just as glad for that as anything else. 

As Alana finished putting on her shoes, she heard the doorbell ring. “I’ll get it!” her mother called. 

Smoothing out her dress and checking her hair in the mirror one last time, she made her way to the front of the house. There stood Mrs. Beck, and behind her was Jared, still in the doorway. He wore an expression she couldn’t place, mouth slightly agape and cheeks flushed.

“You clean up nice,” she said. It was true. The tux aged him up some, and it’s stark contrast to his typically colorful wardrobe brought out his eyes. She hadn’t really acknowledged it before, but he was handsome in a way. 

“You, too.” He cleared his throat. “Oh! I have something for you. For both of us.” He pulled his hands out from behind his back to reveal a corsage and a boutineer. The flowers were made from book pages and they both had an Evenstar pendant attached to them. “I had these made for us. My mom knows a guy…” He looked down. “I thought you might like these since you love Lord of the Rings so much.”

Alana nodded excitedly. “They’re awesome!” She paused for a moment and cocked her head. “But why? We aren’t—“

“Well,” he cut her off, running a hand through his hair, “it’s part of the experience, right?”

“That’s right!” Mrs. Beck chimed in. While Jared slipped the corsage onto her daughter’s wrist she gave Alana a smug look. 

Thousands of pictures and one slightly awkward car ride later, the two had finally arrived at prom. Some Top 40 hit Alana couldn’t name blasted through the ballroom as hundreds of teens talked and danced in small groups. Flashing colored lights and a mirror ball had transformed the usually stodgy country club into a scene straight out of a teen movie. 

“C’mon,” said Jared, “let’s dance.” 

Tentatively, Alana joined Jared out on the dance floor. He moved to the beat of the music in a way that barely passed for dancing, but she could tell he was having a good time, so she did her best to keep up. He showed off his best moves, like the sprinkler and the running man. He also made an attempt at teaching her something called “flossing” when a Katy Perry song came on, but she almost injured him in the process, so they decided to take a break. 

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she sat down at a table just outside the ballroom. She pushed several pairs of high heels out of their way. He sat next to her, rubbing his thigh and wincing. 

“I’ll live,” he groaned. “Besides, is it really prom if you don’t come out of it with a crazy story? This’ll be mine. I’ll be at the pool over break and someone will ask how I got this bruise. I can say I was in an epic, life or death dance battle or something.”

Alana giggled. There he was, playing it off like he always did. Except he didn’t always play things off. Her mom’s voice rang in her ear, something about Dad teasing her early in their relationship. It struck Alana that her dad wasn’t much of a joker. Sure, he could get a laugh here and there, but his mom was certainly the more light-hearted of the two. Jared, on the other hand, was usually much harsher than this. If anyone else they knew had done what Alana just did, they would never hear the end of it. “Jared,” she asked, “why are you so nice to me all the time?” 

He looked up at her. A crease formed between his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you treat me differently than other people. You’re...nice.”

His grimaced, his eyes practically screaming  _ what the fuck? _

“Not that you’re not a nice person!” she defended. “You are. Deep down. In your own way. But with me you’re more...forgiving. A lot more. I like it, don’t get me wrong, but I just don’t understand. Why me?”

Even in the dim light, she could see his cheeks and his ears flush. “Well, shit.” He buried his face in his hands. “I should have known you were too smart to figure this out.”

“What do you mean I’m too smart? For what?”

“You keep that beautiful face of yours shoved in a book for so long you don’t see what’s right in front of you. I love that about you, by the way, but I knew I should have taken a more direct approach.” 

“Jared, what the  _ hell _ are you--wait did you just say I’m beautiful?”

“Yes, I did. Damn it, Alana, how can you not realize that I like you!” He said it a little too loudly, attracting stares and giggles from some of the neighboring tables. “Look, I’m not the best with this shit, okay? If it were anyone else I would have locked it all away forever until the feelings just died. At best there’d be a piss poor attempt at a few pick up lines. But you’re different. You’re better than that. Better than me.” 

She frowned. How could he think that?

“I figured after graduation you’d go off to some fancy school and forget all about me, so I thought maybe I could show you a nice time tonight. Maybe I could pretend there’s something here before you go off and become the first female president or whatever. I know you’d never say yes if I asked you out for real, so I figured this was the next best thing.” He stood up. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you or fucked up your night. I’ll just--”

The next thing Alana knew, her lips were on his. Their noses collided a bit, causing Jared to pull away. He was redder than she’d ever seen him. They paused a moment before their eyes met and he kissed her back. This time it was soft, careful. He caressed her face like it was the most precious thing he’d ever held. 

“Whoo, get some, Kleinman!” Jared and Alana jumped at the loud voice behind them. They turned around to see Matt Holtzer pumping his fist as he struggled to stay upright. 

Jared nervously cleared his throat. “So, how drunk do you think he is?”

“Must be a lot for him to be talking to either of us,” she chuckled

The two of them sat processing the last few minutes. They were still holding hands under the table and she instinctively rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. “I like you, too, by the way,” she finally said. 

“Good,” he said with a cheeky grin, “because after a kiss like that, I’m never gonna give you up.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I couldn't bear to part with anything in this chapter, but I think it paid off. I'm super proud of this one xD
> 
> I'm glad to see that there's a corner of the fandom that loves these two together as much as I do. Jared/Alana (or as I like to call them, Kleinbeck) are truly my Dear Evan Hansen OTP and I just adore writing them. Thanks for indulging me and reading all of this!!!


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